When I started reading this book, The Forty Rules Of Love, I started writing this blog, that was almost 4 weeks ago. Whenever I pass by a phrase which had an impact on me, I used to write down the page number that’s it’s in it, and at the end of each day, I open this blog, it was drafted back then, and write the phrase in it, so as the forty rules, I had a really awesome experience reading this book, it had a huge impact on my heart and on the way I love, it showed me love in another way, it made me realise that love could be whole separated world which you can amazingly live in it, enjoy each and every moment of it. Those who miss love in their lives should definitely start reading this book, Love is what we need in our lives to make it better, to make it even easier to live.
It was always like this. When you spoke the truth, they hated you. The more you talked about love, the more they hated you. Page – 33.
Rule – The Path of the Truth is labor of the heart, not of the head. Make your heart your primary guid! Not your mind. Meet, challenge, and ultimately prevail over your nafs with your heart. Knowing yourself will lead you to the knowledge of God. Page – 40.
Rule – Each and every reader comprehends the Holy Qur’an on a different level in tandem with the depth of his understanding. There are four levels of insight. The first level is outer meaning and it is the one that the majority of the people are content with. Next is the Batini–the inner level. Third, there is the inner of the inner. And the fourth level is so deep it cannot be put into words and is therefore bound to remain indescribable. Page – 50.
So you see, don’t judge the way other people connect to God, Page – 51.
Love is the water of life – Rumi, Page – 54.
Rule – You can study God in everything and everyone on the universe, because God is not confined in a mosque, synagogue, or church. But if you are still in need of knowing where exactly His adobe is, there is only one place to look for Him: in the heart of a true lover. Page – 58.
Rule – Intellect and love are made of different materials. Intellect ties people in knots and risks nothing, but love dissolves all tangles ad risks everything. Intellect is always cautious and advises, ‘Beware too much ecstasy’, whereas love says, ‘Oh, never mind! Take the plunge!’ Intellect does not easily break down, whereas love can effortlessly reduce itself to rubble. But treasures are hidden among ruins. A broken heart hides treasures. Page – 66.
Rule – Most of the problems of the world stem from linguistic mistakes and simple misunderstanding. Don’t ever take wards face value. When you step into the zone of love, languages as we know it becomes obsolete. That which cannot be put into wards only be grasped through silence. Page – 66.
Rule – Loneliness and solitude are two different things. When you are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing that you are in the right path. Solitude is better for us, as it means being alone without feeling lonely. But eventually it is best to find a person. the person who will be your mirror. Remember, only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you. Page – 72.
Rule – Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling things might seem, do not enter the neighbourhood of despair. Even when all doors remain closed, God will open up a new path only for you. Be thankful! It is easy to be thankful when all is well. A Sufi is thankful not only for what he has been given but also for all that he has been denied. Page – 73.
Rule – Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end results of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the throne and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn. Impatience means to be so shortsighted as to not be able to see the outcome. The lovers of God never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full. Page – 74.
Rule – The midwife knows that when there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and the mother cannot give birth. Likewise, for a new Self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as a clay needs to go through intense heat to become strong, Love can only be perfected in pain. Page – 86.
Rule – The quest of for Love changes us. There is no seeker among those who search for Love who has not matured on the way. The moment you start looking for Love, you start to change within and without. Page 87.
Rule – There are more fake gurus and false teachers in this world than the number os starts in this visible universe. Don’t confuse power-diven, self-centered people with true mentors. A genuine spiritual master will not direct your attention to himself or herself and will not expect absolute obedience or utter admiration from you, but instead will help you to appreciate and admire your inner self. True mentors are as transparent as glass. They let the light of God pass through them. Page – 88.
Rule – Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you used to is better than the one to come?. Page – 101.
Rule – God is busy with the completion of your work, both outwardly and inwardly. He is fully occupied with you. Every human beings is a work in progress that is slowly but inexorably moving toward perfection. We are each an unfinished work of are both waiting and striving to be completed. God deals with each of us separately because humanity is a fine are skilled penmanship where every single dot is equally important for the entire picture. Page – 102.
Rule – It is to easy to perfect God, unblemished and infallible that He is. What is far more difficult is to love fellow human beings with all their imperfections and defects. Remember, one can only know what one is capable of loving. There is no wisdom without love. Unless we learn to love God’s creation, we can neither truly love nor truly know God. Page – 110.
Rule – Real faith is the one inside. The rest is simply washes off. There is only one type of dirt that cannot be cleaned with pure waters, wand that is the stain of hatred and bigotry contamination the soul. You can purify your body through abstinence and fasting, but only love will purify your heart. Page – 111.
Rule – The whole world is contained within a single human being–you. Everything that you see around, including the things you might not fond of and even the people you despise or abhor, is present within you in varying degrees. Therefore, do not look for Sheitan outside yourself either. The devil is not an extraordinary force that attacks from without, IT is an ordinary voice within. If you get to know yourself fully, facing with honesty and hardness both your dark and bright sides, you will arrive at a supreme form of consciousness. When a person knows himself or herself, he or she knows God. Page – 112.
Rule – If you want to change the way others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself. Unless you learn to love yourself, fully and sincerely, there is no way you can be loved. Once you achieve that stage, however, be thankful for every thorn might throw you, It is a sign that you will soon be showered in roses. Page – 135.
Rule – Fret not the road will take you. Instead concentrate on the first step. That’s the hardest part and that’s what you are responsible for. Once you take that step let everything do what it naturally does and the rest will follow. Do not go with the flow. Be the flow. Page – 136
Rule – We were all created in His image, and yet we were each created different and unique. No two people are alike. No two hearts beat to the same rhythm. If God had wanted everyone to be the same, He would have made it so. Therefore, disrespecting difference and imposing your thoughts on the others is tantamount to disrespecting God’s holy scheme. Page – 140.
Rule – When a true lover of God goes into a tavern, the tavern becomes his chamber of preyer, but when a wine bibber goes into the same chamber, it becomes his tavern. In everything we do, it is our hearts that make the difference, not our outer appearances. Sufis do not judge other people on how they look or who they are. When a Sufi stares at someone, he keeps both eyes closed and instead opens a third eye– the eye that sees the inner realm. Page – 141.
Rule – The human being has a unique place among God’s creation. “I breathed into him of My Spirit” God says. Each and every one of us without exception is designed to be God’s delegate on earth. Ask yourself. just how often do you behave like a delegate, if you ever do so? Remember, it falls upon each one of us to discover the divine spirit inside and live by it. Page – 181.
Rule – Hell is in the here and now. So is heaven. Quit worrying about hell or dreaming about heaven, as they are both present in this very moment. Everytime we fall in love, we ascend to heaven. Everytime we hate, envy, or fight someone, we tumble straight into the fires of hell. Page – 182.
Rule – The universe is one being. Everything and everyone is interconnected through an invisible web of stories. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are all in a silent conversation. Do no harm. Practice compassion. And do not gossip behind anyone’s back—not even a seemingly innocent remark! The words that come out of our mouths do not vanish but are perpetually stored in the infinite space, and they will come back to us in due time. One man’s pain will hunt us all. One man’s joy will make everyone smile. Page – 207
Rule – The world is like a snowy mountain that echoes your voice. Whatever you speak, good or evil, will somehow come back to you. Therefore, if there is someone who harbors il thoughts about you, saying similarly bad things about him will only make matters worse. You will be locked in a vicious circle of malevolent energy. Instead for forty days and nights say and think nice things about that person.. Everything will be different at the end of the forty days, because you will be different inside. Page – 211.
Rule – The past is an interpretation. The future is an illusion. The world does not move through time as if it were a straight line, proceeding from the past to the future. Instead time moves through and within us, in endless spirals. Eternity does not mean infinite time, but simply timelessness. If you want to experience eternal illumination, put the past and the future out of your mind and remain within the present moment. Page – 216.
Rule – Destiny doesn’t mean that your live has been strictly predetermined. Therefore, to leave everything to fate and to not actively contribute to the music of the universe is all-pervading and it is composed on forty different levels. “Your destiny level is where you will play your tune. You might not change your instrument but how well to play is entirely in your hands.”. Page – 221.
Rule – The true Sufi is such that even when he is unjustly accused, attacked, and condemned from all sides, he patiently endures, uttering not a single bad word about any of his critics. A Sufi never apportions blame. How can there be opponents or rivals or even “others” when there is no “self” in the first place? How can there be anyone to blame when there is only one?. Page – 225.
Rule – If you want to strengthen your faith, you will need to soften inside. For your faith to be rock solid, your heart needs to be as soft as a feather. Through an illness, accident, loss, or fright, one way or another, we all are faced with incidents that teach us how to become less selfish and judgmental, and more compassionate and generous. Yet some of us learn the lesson and manage to become milder, while some others end up becoming even harsher than before. The only way to get closer to Truth is to expand your heart so that it will encompass all humanity and still have room for more love. Page – 244.
Rule – Nothing should stand between you and God. Not imams, priests, rabbis, or any other custodians of moral or religious leadership. Not spiritual masters, not even you faith. Believe in your values and your rules, but never lord them over others. If you keep breaking other people’s hearts, whatever religious duty you perform is no good. “Stay away from all sorts of idolatry, for they will blur your vision. Let Gpd and only God be your guide. Learn the Truth, my friend, but be careful not to make a fetish out of your results.”. Page – 246.
Rule – While everyone is this world strives to get somewhere and become someone, only to leave it all behind after death, you aim for the supreme stage of nothingness. Live this life as light and empty as the number zero. We are no different from a pot. It is not the decoration outside but the emptiness inside that holds us straight. Just like that, it is not what we aspire to achieve but the consciousness of nothingness that keeps us going.”. Page – 266.
Rule – Submission does not mean being weak or passive. it leads to neither fatalism not capitulation. Just the opposite. True power resides in submission—a power that comes from within. Those who submit to the divine essence if life will live in unperturbed tranquility and peace even when the whole wide world goes through turbulence after turbulence. Page – 292.
Rule – In this world, it is not similarities or regularities that take us step forward, but blunt opposite. And all the believers need to meet the unbelievers residing within. And the nonbelievers should get to know the silent faithful in him. Until the day one reaches the stage if Insan-i Kamil, the perfect human being, faith is gradual process and one that necessitates its seeming opposite: disbelief. Page – 309.
Rule – This world is erected upon the principles of reciprocity. Neither a drop of kindness nor a speck of evil will remain reciprocated. Fear not the plots, deceptions, or tricks of other people. If somebody is getting a trap, remember, so is God. He is the biggest plotter. Not even a leaf is outside God’s knowledge. Simply and fully believe in that. Whatever God does, He does beautifully. Page – 330.
Rule – It’s never too late to ask yourself, ‘Am I ready to change the live I’m living? Am I ready to change within?’ “Even if a single day of your life is the same as the day before, it surely is a pity. At every moment and with each new breath, on should be renewed and renewed again. There is only one way to be born into a new life: to die before death. Page – 336.
Rule – While the parts change, the whole always remain the same. For every thief who departs this world, a new one is born. And every decent person who passes away is replaced by a new one. In this way not only does nothing remain the same but also nothing ever really changes. For every Sufi who dies, another is born somewhere. Page – 343.
Rule – A life without love os of no account. Don’t ask yourself what kind of love you should seek, spiritual or material, divin or mundane, Eastern or Western . . . Divisions only lead to more divisions. Love has no labels, no definition, It is what is it, pure and simple. Love is the water of life. And a lover isa soul of fire!, The universe turns different when fire loves water. Page – 350
Abdullah Al-Faqeir, 11-Aug, 10-Sep/2014
The Forty Rules Of Love, Elif Shafak. Latest version